You said, you like to watch me record my life and understand my details, but I am silent. You said, seeing my head is on, just like seeing a lamp at home, it is very warm, but I am dim. You said, did I gradually neglect you because I was too busy.

You said, I became low-key. It was you who danced alone. I wanted to say, no, I was always the one who had you in my heart. I came to dance with you, jump out of my gorgeous dance belonging to you. You can change me. For you, I am willing to stop hiding. I am willing to turn the diary into a diary.

Just as I am sitting in the bed at the moment, tapping the keyboard gently, telling my feelings and thoughts with the warm sunshine outside the window. Presumably, you are also in bed. We have the same pace of life and come back late. You know I care about someone in my heart, you know I am very happy, you know me, just like I know you.

You smile like Yan Yang and grass. When I see you, I feel that I am so fragile. In the early morning of this morning, I burst into tears with grievance. Seeing what you wrote to me in the morning, I calmed down and became warm with the sunrise. Master said, children, you should choose love, not hate.

Although I have never hated anyone, I don’t know how to hate, but this sentence makes my heart tremble, and it guides me on a bright Road. This time I chose to make money, experience, love and grievance. I understand that money can warm my body, but not my heart. Soon, I will go back to zaoke, that very warm place, where I am waiting for your return.

Like (prose editor: Di Mo Chengshang) the 30th year of my WeChat era

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Finally it snowed again. Although it was in the deep haze and sparse scattered snow sand, these old alleys filled with mineral powder dust over the years finally became cleaner, the mottled and thick brick walls, the roof connected with eaves and ridges, and even the small yard seemed to be a little fresh, but there was a quiet and stable settled dust. I stood quietly on the cornerstone of the roadside, with a little cold on my face, but there was a kind of warmth in my heart, spreading. I really wanted to share with it and with the snow. Climb the thick-sole woolen boots, dress yourself like a giant panda, walk out of the gate, turn into the alley, climb up the path of the Back Mountain along the alley, and there are abandoned mining roads on the back mountain, winding all the way up, I haven’t gone through the whole journey, and I don’t know if it will reach the top of the mountain. The plain and clean air made my mind clear. The depression that I had been staying at home after my illness suddenly dispersed. I looked at the mountain road in front of me and walked forward, feeling happy and relaxed, it is also a kind of catharsis, a kind of emission. It seems that it is also necessary to absorb, pick up, collide and embrace, something that should belong to me. As soon as I stepped on the mountainside, two pheasants flew out of the bushes in the ravines, giggling their wings up the cliff in the quiet empty space, hiding on the top of the mountain. It scared my face, and my heart beat rapidly. I must have scared them, and they scared me again. Clapping my chest, I don’t think I am alone in such a big mountain. I also thought of whether Ling took mountain climbing and capturing pheasants and rabbits as recreation and sports in her spare time. I once said that he was too cruel, but I had never refused the delicious food he made. He was finally a mortal person, and his mind and temptation would never be clear about the direction. Maybe it is impossible for people like me to realize the soul space that can be sublimated, so they will wander in such contradictions as today. All the way up, the weed layer on the roadside is warm yellow, and on both sides are clusters of green bristlegrass, which extends along the mountain road furry. I never knew that the green bristlegrass with snow hats was so cute, and groups of green bristlegrass with snow hats were more cute. I couldn’t help squatting down and stretching out my hand to touch it, and the snow hats fell one after another, it seemed that the pale yellow face exposed was complaining that my disturbance was too reckless. I took back my hands and walked forward slowly, looking at them and reviewing them. Through a low-lying cracked area, the deep trench and big seam which were broken due to dry before the snow are connected in a network. It can be seen that it used to be a gathering place of water puddles, and the dry winter split them. Uniform snow and sand cover the cracks between the strips, just like the beautiful three-dimensional picture, which is created by the real natural painter and is out of print without storage space. If there is no way forward, the abandoned mine will not have prosperous roads either. The ravines are crisscross and there will be dozens of meters away from the top of the mountain? Shrub clusters extend to the top of the mountain along the low-lying leeward of the convex rock back. On the top of the mountain, rows of thin old trees stretching out the branches of the red trees under the gray sky stand, there was a strong smell of sadness, which seemed to see everything clearly among the bald and clear branches, while silence seemed to be the only way that silence represented its attitude. Facing the foot of the mountain, countless railway tracks crisscross and interspersed with roads. A harmonious locomotive was marching forward bravely, and warnings came: The train is coming, don’t rob the road, it is dangerous to rob the road…. Black railway, white sleepers, one grid and one grid, black and white, infinite distance. Walking along the road behind the mountain to Longshan, I suddenly wanted to see the lotus pond there. Is Longshan the quietest place in this mining area? During the years I left here, it was here that I recalled most. This was the happiest place I spent with the rain. For the growth of rain, the meaning here is just like Lu Xun’s herbal garden and the back garden of Xiao Hong’s Hulan River Town. Most of the joys and sorrows that he experienced during his childhood growth are here. However, for him, the memory had passed, and speaking occasionally was just a moment of chatting and laughing. However, for me, this memory occupies most of the space in my heart and becomes the most beautiful part of my life, lasting for a long time. After passing the 95th district, I couldn’t help walking slowly, looking for some old shadows. This used to be the home we lived in. Later, we had to move away from the mine land. Now it is already a hundred nursery, and the only thing that has not changed is the surrounding walls and railways. I walked slowly, looking at the inside of the nursery, listening carefully and looking for it, as if I stretched out my hand and touched one of the branches, then some old past events and endless laughter will emerge. Two days before the rain, he told me: Mom, this is the place where I did whatever I wanted when I was young! Once stepping on the steps which had been decorated by snow and sand, the big willow trees around the lotus pond had already exposed their heads. Walking up slowly, the lotus pond gradually appeared. There are four large ponds in Longshan, both of which are full of lotus flowers. There are water pavilions and broken bridges beside this lotus pond. I like this place best. But in the past six years, this is my first time to see the lotus pond in winter after I left here. The ice layer beside the pond was very thick, and several senior students played and played on the ice, laughing together. I can’t help raising the corners of my mouth. Rain and I have played like this before. Standing beside the handrail of the water pavilion, I looked at the dead Lotus of the whole pool and felt it was quite spectacular. The Lotus in winter is still and rough, and the lotus stems are all over and out. They casually write a freehand brushwork on the bright white ice layer, which is compared with the softness and Pinting in summer, it is simply two kinds of irrelevant artistic conception. Countless lotus leaves all lowered their heads like straw hats, most of which were still half on the ice and half in the ice. The static posture was like the sleeves which were intended to be thrown and collected stagnant in the camera, I want to make some effort to dance happily before giving up. In the snow and fog, the Lotus has its own charm, while the Lotus in winter has its own reason of existence. It is no longer the previous Lotus, it can’t be compared with the full swaying in summer, just like now I am not the one in Zhengzhou in summer, my mood, attitude, direction and even desire, even sorrow and joy, even thoughts have changed, completely changed! The snow gradually stopped, and the sky became darker. I followed the road when I came and walked back slowly, step by step, a little heavy, feeling tired. When he arrived at home, he still turned into the back mountain and walked back. Standing on the mountainside, he looked at these alleys. The warm warmth permeated at the foot of the mountain, lingering with the gentle rising fireworks, the smell of home spread in front of me. It was time to walk in. No matter how to walk in my mind, I still had to go back home, because home was the terminal. The moment I walked into the room, my feet were filled with lead, and I couldn’t lift it. The weak body has slight sweat, which is very comfortable. 2014, 1, 16 the 30th year of my WeChat era

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