In normal days, because I am very busy, I have to show the pictures to the students, change the pictures and take orders every day. No time flightsof fancy. But once you calm down, you don’t know how to live. A client came in the morning, showed him the layout of HJasFELIXHOTEL restaurant, exchanged opinions with him, and typed a drawing to him, then nothing happened. At noon, student Ahyj bought me a bowl of Master Kang instant noodles and ate them for me. I asked Ahyj when I didn’t want to eat noodles. Where is your boyfriend? Unexpectedly, as soon as my words were spoken out, Ahyj said, “stop talking. I will cry as soon as you say it. As a result, she still couldn’t hold back her tears, and she couldn’t stop her crying out. It’s really not the worst, only worse. I accidentally touched the pain of others. I feel that I am really doing evil. But at this moment, Golipy opened the door and came in, looking at me strangely, as if I had done something sorry to others. I ignored her and went to my own room alone, closed the door, lay on the bed, put on headphones, and then entered my “past and present” hypnosis program, I always want to enter my previous life to see what my previous life was. However, I have tried this program for more than ten times, and I have never felt my previous life again. Every time I fell asleep unconsciously. I was dreaming and was awakened by a phone call. After getting up and having a look, the students had already finished their work and went home to get together with their families. Leaving me alone, the empty house, the clear and clear world, a sense of loneliness came to my face, permeated the whole space and filled my heart. I quickly closed the door and closed the window. I turned on the air conditioner and made a pot of coffee myself. I wanted to calm myself down, but I couldn’t calm down. So I sorted out my diary of last month and posted it on an independent blog. I have never been so lonely and unbearable. Several years ago, it seemed to be a dream. I also had a happy life, a happy life, a passing love, and a lost life, but I have never been lonely now. I can’t find anyone to tell my own mind, so I can only talk to myself in the diary and tell myself. In this world, I can’t even find a person and place to cry out of my heart. I often want to cry, but no one listens to me. I often want to have a serious illness, but I am in good health and have no cold at all. I often want to die, but my responsibility has not been fulfilled. I can’t get rid of it even if I have parents and children. At dusk, I went to BRIDGECoffeeBAR alone, ordered dinner and coffee, found a quiet corner, sat down and prepared to finish the mid-autumn night alone. A mouse was in the hollow pillar beside me. Learning how to crawl was my companion. At this time, I ordered a pot of coffee alone in BRIDGECoffeeBAR, but there were two sets of cups. I was the only one to drink, and I couldn’t find the feeling of withered wood Fengchun. In this reunion day, at this reunion moment, the annual Mid-Autumn Festival, I only have one person, slowly tasting the fragrance of coffee, and no one shares it. At this time, I remembered Yu Boya and Zhong Ziqi again. Yu Boya has never gone for nothing in her whole life. But in this world, how many people are lucky to have Yu Boya! Although Van Gogh was down and out, there was a Theo who could appreciate him, support him as always and understand him. For Theo, any word of Van Gogh was precious; Any painting manuscript of Van Gogh, are important. Therefore, Dior and his wife collected every letter and draft of Van Gogh. After Van Gogh passed away, Theo also passed away a month later, leaving his last words, to be buried with his elder brother and to plant sunflowers around their graves. Van Gogh and Dior’s joint tomb became the most beautiful tomb in the world. However, the legacy of Theo was moved by the friendship of their brothers. He summarized Van Gogh’s paintings and letters and held an exhibition for him, let people know that there is a lonely soul like Van Gogh in the world, singing songs in his heart. What a beautiful story! But I came to this world alone. Why does God always make me lonely? At this time, I suddenly heard that the mouse was still climbing steadily inside the pillar. At this time, my friend sent me a text message, so I sent him a text message: On the night of Mid-Autumn Festival, I listened to music alone in BRIDGECoffeeBAR. One pot of coffee and two sets of cups. Beside my seat, there is a pillar and a mouse inside. It has been two hours since I crawled. It seems that at this moment, there is still more lonely than me, more lonely and helpless living creatures! I am thinking about life, and the mouse is in a hurry to come out and want to be with me. The fragrant coffee, the light music, the mouse inside the pillar and the me outside the pillar taste their loneliness and loneliness respectively. This mid-autumn festival is also worth recalling! I knocked on the hollow column and said to the mouse: brother, come out, let’s have a drink together? When BRIDGECoffeeBAR was checking out, the cashier’s sister at the bar looked very happy and said to me with a smile: Ah, you finally checked out, how happy I am? I said why? She said, we can finally go home! I was dizzy, and I said in my heart, it seemed that I was really a black sheep, which made so many people unable to go home! Out of BRIDGECoffeeBAR, the moon could not be seen outside. The sky was gray and the clouds were very low. The city lights reflected the low clouds into dark red. It is relatively dark around the sky. There is a bright color on the other side of the eastern mountain top. This mid-autumn festival is really not worthy of the name. Without the moon, the Mid-Autumn Festival becomes a form. Everyone got together on this day, because the Mid-Autumn Festival was a reason. But others can go home to reunite with their relatives, while I myself have reasons for reunion, but I don’t have a reunion partner. There are few pedestrians in the street, and everyone may be at home. There are not many cars, not as busy as before. I didn’t want to go back, so I went to the river alone. When I passed by from the small street, there were several bars with lights on, in which there were songs occasionally coming out, which seemed to be illusory and not real at all. When I came to the Riverside, under the shade of the tree, I saw a couple of lovers hugging each other. Seeing me coming, I quickly loosened it. It seems that I am too bold to disturb others. It doesn’t matter if I am lonely, why should I influence others’ sweetness? Therefore, I always walked around the place where there were people, and finally picked a section of deserted riverbank. It was very quiet, very quiet, so quiet that there were only sounds of nature. I sat on the steps below and listened quietly: the cries of insects in the muddled grass one after another, the occasional screams of dogs from people on the other side, and the sound of cars flying behind me. I took out the iphone and put it near the grass to record the sound of the night. I accidentally recorded four or ten minutes. I sat there and felt silently. I put my ipad on my legs and recorded my feelings while feeling it. It turned out that there was no sound in the so-called dead of night. In this deserted night, as the most advanced person of primate, he had already dreamed. At this time, it is the paradise of other creatures. They are absorbing the essence of heaven and earth and the aura of the sun and moon. At this time, it is their world. At this moment, you can not only hear the sound of insects, bats, dogs from distant villages, but also the sound of vegetation jointing. Although these weeds are one year old and one year old, their roots are not dead, but they are deeply rooted in the ground and live tenaciously. In fact, compared with these weeds and animals, human life is too fragile and too short. Why not be better for yourself? When I just wrote here, it rained. Raindrops are sparse, but for my ipad, a drop of water is enough as long as it is in a key position. So I quickly put away my ipad, but didn’t leave immediately. In this silent night, feel the touch of the night wind and the misty night. The misty night covered many ugly things, but my heart was clearer than ever. I have too little time to feel the nature. In the days to come, if the weather is fine at night, instead of sitting in a cafe and seeing others talking and laughing in pairs to set off my loneliness, it is better to come to the foot of the mountain by the river alone, to associate with the birds and insects of nature and listen to their voices may comfort my heart more. It suddenly occurred to me that Li Qingzhao’s words came, so let it be the conclusion of this journal: searching, searching, cold and desolate, miserable and miserable. Cold, most difficult jiang xi. Three Cups and two cups of light wine, how can you defeat him? The wind is urgent late? The Wild Goose has passed, and it is sad, but it is the old acquaintance. Yellow flowers piled up all over the ground, Haggard, who can pick it now? Guarding the window, how can I give birth to darkness alone? The phoenix tree is also drizzling, until dusk, bit by bit. This time, how can I get a word of sorrow?

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