I have been forced to retreat my sadness again and again, and I am thinking about it again. I like the warm quilt with the smell of skin. The sense of security is thick. I like the bangs covering my eyes. No one can see my mood. My crazy and evil heart goes the Arctic leap in the South Pole I like to fall into the memory and can’t climb out and then be sentenced to death by time. I am unforgettable. I have been separated from life and death. I have been betrayed and split. I have been happy. I have had the determination to die. There looking back, cunning, narrow-minded, naked hurt, so many can’t go back. I have many people I like. Really, I only love you. A real soul has no fixed place. You are my city, but not mine. The sun is desperate. With great fanfare, the bright sunshine is shining, the silent curtain, the hot gold frame of the drama, can’t see my helplessness. I can fall in love at first sight. I can throw all my life out for anyone. I can write warm words for you. I have painted a thousand kinds of things about the future in my mind secretly for you. I want to tell you the most touching love words in the world, even though you can turn a deaf ear to it. I thought you could save me from the boundless loneliness. I thought I could love the world more with you. It’s just that I made a fatal mistake. I forgot that you are not mine. I forgot love is not that you can do whatever you want in the name of love as long as you have love. Because you can be forgiven and do what you think is right under the banner of love. After all, it is water Moon Mirror flowers living in different worlds. You can live without me. I can’t. No matter how sad your heart is, you can still do it. Without me, but I am different from you. I am would rather do nothing than leave me thinking about you, thinking about you unconsciously and wanting to shed tears. You are as helpless as me. Whenever I think of this, I am embezzling the power that burns my life. Go on and use the courage accumulated again and again to tell you to give up, but after hearing what you said, I love you, I feel sad about those tangled thoughts, those words that can’t be said or asked it doesn’t matter if you take a word so easily. I’m not forgiving you, not indulging you, not praying for your sympathy. I am really reluctant. What a terrible person I want to I am. Am I so neurotic and extreme? Gentle and not excellent I don’t care about people even don’t know how to love someone no one likes the real me no one needs me but you don’t know how much I love you lose to your heart don’t know how to be a good love please if you give it back to me, I can’t make myself cheap. I can’t make myself humble in front of anyone. I am the most proud of face, so I don’t care about anything. You are nothing. You are not worth mentioning. You are nothing. I don’t need to ask anyone for help. Smile to anyone. Coquetry to anyone. Compromise to anyone. Pretend that I can give you freedom. Anyway, this kind of thing is originally used regret, isn’t it? It’s so funny that we are so muddled and hard to hurt each other and do well, bad, worthy, unworthy, anything stinging breath, lost yourself, don’t calm down, don’t be afraid of me I lost my temper. I ‘d rather just argue. I can apologize and eat each other. It’s like two trapped beasts. At least it can prove that you are still there. You see, we are stagnant. What we consume our feelings left is burning skin. The intermittent tears make people increasingly doubt whether it is necessary to continue. In fact, you have no idea how stupid and ridiculous your self-righteous love is in the eyes of people who don’t love you. Cold Tsingtao beer is the sexiest thing in summer. It is strange that I am not drunk since I was a child, even if I feel uncomfortable, I will be extremely sober. It is very good. I feel that it is as strong and vigorous as witnessing my own death. The pain makes me shiver. I why can’t you ignite your feelings.

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一 带着满身的疲惫,怀着一颗破碎和愧疚的心,林晨毅然地离开了家,离开了这座充满太多记忆的城市。他走的时候,小雨淅沥,一股伤感的气息笼罩在整个城市上空。林晨曾说过,他喜欢雨,喜欢雨后的世界,一切都是那么清新自然,给人带来朝气和活力。 踏上列车的那一刻,姐姐握着他的手说珍重。他点点头,抱了抱姐姐说走了。然后他抬起头,望着小雨淅沥的天空。突然明白这个城市已不再属于他,很伤感,却没有一滴泪。 林晨走了,怀着伤感,却没有恨,他需要一个安静的地方疗伤。 林晨此次是去求学,然而他不知道终点站在哪? 到了新环境,林晨沉默了许多,不,应该是看透了许多。他不明白清叶为什么会那样对他,就那么一句话不说的离他而去,自己怎么会变得如此沉默?难道就因为他高考发挥失利,没有进入理想的大学吗? 不明白,烦透了!不想再去过问。 林晨,最近好吗?姐姐打来电话问。 嗯,还好!你们呢?林晨干脆利落的回答。 我们也很好,功课忙吗?选修了几门课? 两门,西方经济学和现代古汉语。 哦,那你好好念书啊!对了,你们那儿冷吗?我们这儿下雨了。 是吗? 你不要和爸爸顶嘴了,他一个人生活也不容易,你看他现在都长白头发了,你要体谅他,钱么省着点花。烟酒么少沾点,最好是不沾!爸爸苦钱也不容易,知道吗?我现在在爸爸旁边,需要和他说两句吗? 不用了,我挺好。不用牵挂,我没什么事! 你 不说你了,抽时间多打几个电话回家和爸爸谈谈吧!你们父子不要整天敌对着,你也不小了,这些道理我不讲相信你也明白。 好了,我知道了。 哦,对了,清叶去新加坡留学了。 嗯。林晨等姐姐继续说。 你走后的第三天,清叶从新加坡打电话找你。 嗯,林晨简略回应。 我本不想告诉你,怕你伤心!但我又无权干涉。 谢谢!我知道了。 你要她电话吗? 不用了,不需要了。 哦,那就这样,记得常给爸爸打电话陪他聊聊哦,Bye Bye! 林晨挂上了电话。他开始想刚才姐姐告诉他关于清叶的情况。他与清叶相恋了三年,没想到最终清叶什么都不和他说一声就消失了,害得他整天思念无果!于是,林晨便带着高考后的失意以及满腹的爱与痛离开了那座城市。没想到她是去了新加坡啊!林晨本已打算忘记清叶的,但姐姐刚才电话里再度提起她,使得他的心一阵抽搐。 夜很深了,林晨坐在窗前,同室的室友们都已入睡,但他却怎么也睡不着! 一个人在这个夜里,孤单地难以入睡,真的想找个人来陪 这首歌很伤感,像林晨的恋情,像此刻他的心情。 林晨真的感觉自己很是孤单。在一个陌生的城市里,需要一个人去面对一切。也许逃避会让他重新振作。 林晨在别人面前从不落泪,因为泪已流干,心已伤透。 有时,林晨真希望自己可以哭出来,向别人说出来,不必那么坚强。因为有一种坚强是会摧毁一个人的。 林晨打开电脑,姐姐在线,有她给他的留言: 林晨,你在吗?我知道你现在一定很难过,都怪姐姐,早知道就不告诉你了。你现在必须坚强,必须学会放弃,既然你们选择了分开,你就要封锁所有对她的记忆 林晨沉默无语。 林晨,想哭就哭吧。别再折磨自己了,我知道你心里很苦,但我希望你振作,这一切都不是你的错,也不是别人的!爱情本来就没有错。清叶是优秀的,但你需要一个更优秀的人来陪。姐姐再次安慰林晨。 QQ上的好友发来讯息: 林晨,这么晚了还不睡啊,明早一起去打篮球,好吗? 没心情,不去。林晨毫不犹豫地敲打着键盘。 你怎么了,心情不好?好友又问。 林晨轻轻地关闭QQ,闭着眼睛,心里很乱很乱。 手机响了,又是好友思远。 林晨,你怎么下线了? 嗯,累了。 出什么事了? 没事,大概是昨晚没睡好吧。 哦!那我不打搅你了,晚安! 晚安! 林晨把手机扔在床上,趴在桌上,泪不由自主地往下流。 怎么了?究竟怎么了?我怎么会流泪呢?我该是幸福的才对,人家都说: 笑口常开,好彩自然来 !林晨忙擦干眼泪,躺到了床上。克制住伤感,沉沉的进入梦乡! 接下来的日子,林晨准备迎接大学英语过级考试。 书本与试题填充了他所有的空闲时间。他不想让自己有休息的机会,他不再憧憬爱情的浪漫与天长地久。 打开E-mail,他要给姐姐写封信: 姐,你工作忙吗?近来好吗?我要告诉你个好消息:我那颗受伤的心现在已经基本愈合了。我终于明白爱情一旦失去就找不回来了,即使找回来也是变味了的。所以我听你的话选择了放弃,正视未来。我现在一心想着学习。 发送了邮件,打开QQ,单击了 一条溺水的鱼 。 你很烦吗? 一条溺水的鱼 问。 为什么?林晨惊讶。 凭感觉,她似乎胸有成竹。 你相信感觉? 相信,就像我相信我们会成为朋友一样。 为什么? 因为我信缘。 缘能注定爱情吗? 可以。 那能长久吗? 爱情就像放风筝,你要牢牢地抓住线。 我的受情是没有线的风筝,我让它飞了! 哦,那你下次可得抓住了,不要放弃,相信自己。 谢谢。 再见。 不知为什么?林晨的心抽动了一下。这一夜,他睡得香极了。 表哥王辉失恋了,女友的移情别恋让他无法控制自己的情绪。唉,又是一个被爱情抛弃的男人! 她说过会爱我一生一世的。王辉静静地对林晨说。 为什么受伤的总是我们?林晨反问。 她心里有了别人,她已经不爱我了。王辉喃喃着。 坚强一点,幸福终究会来的。林晨说。 唉 王辉叹着气。 林晨想他是幸运的,他己经从爱情的枷琐中解脱出来。不再需要受痛苦的煎熬了。 QQ里, 一条溺水的鱼 问林晨: 你的风筝确定了吗? 也许吧! 你不肯定? 是的。 为什么? 也许我怕风筝会断线。 爱情像手中的沙子,抓得越紧,漏得越多,不抓你又不会拥有,我们只有适当地去抓。 我得感谢你。 不用,愿你能早日找到你的风筝。 一条溺水的鱼 总能让林晨醒悟。林晨想她的感觉是对的,他们有缘,他们是朋友,即使通过虚拟的网络,即使他们素未相识。 假期来了,林晨还是回到了那个伤感的城市,那个在他看来不太温暖的家。短短的假期让他重新认识了自我,懂得了父亲的苦闷与艰辛,也让他明白了许多。 你变了。父亲对林晨说。 怎么变了。 成熟了。 是该成熟了,爸。 有原因吗? 爸,以前是我太不懂事,只知道自己的感受而没有去体会你们的感受,是我错了,请你原谅我吧。这一年我经历了太多太多!我终于明白了,你太不容易了,林晨红了双眼。父子俩第一次相拥在了一起。 二 踩在枯黄的草地上,林晨悠闲地漫步,手中的浅紫色铃铛不停地响着,他深思,而铃铛的声音却如此清脆,美。 这是他和 一条溺水的鱼 约定的见面方式。 林晨,是你吗?一个身体玲珑,体态娇美,一袭白色紧身衣束裹全身的女子,站在了他的背后,吓了林晨一跳。 对,我是林晨,你是 一条溺水的鱼 ?林晨打量着眼前这位漂亮的女孩。 太好了,我们终于见面了!我真名叫依小凡,一直都没有告诉你,想不到你比视频中更加俊美啊!一点都没有忧郁的迹象嘛! 一条溺水的鱼 调皮的说道。 怎么,你希望我忧郁啊?林晨也开始调侃起来。 哈哈,生气了,这可是我们第一次在现实中相见哦!走,我们去那边亭子里坐下再聊。 一条溺水的鱼 转移了话题。 林晨挠挠头,朝四下望了望,尾随 一条溺水的鱼 朝亭子方向走去。 坐吧,林晨。 一条溺水的鱼 很主动的给林晨让座,让林晨觉得很不自在。 这 太不好意思了,请问我该怎么称呼你呢? 你叫我小凡就可以了。 哦,小凡,看你的打扮好像不是一个学生啊,你从事的是什么职业哦?我的大学生,不错嘛!这么快就怀疑我了。不错,我的确不是学生,我是洒吧老板。很意外吧? 的确很意外的,这么年轻就做了老板,我很佩服你!而且你的眼晴里有东西告诉我你是个值得我深交的人。 为什么啊? 我不告诉你,你慢慢猜吧! 不说拉倒,反正我也不想听,还是来说说你的风筝吧! 其实我现在还没找到我的风筝,要不你来当我的风筝吧! 你开什么玩笑,像我这种人配吗? 说的也是啊!我们两个的确不配哦!唉!不说了,肚子饿了,走,我请你吃饭去。林晨和依小凡就这样匆匆结束了第一次见面。虽然他们各有想法,但彼此之间却有了触电的感觉! 三 林晨,其实我有一件事隐瞒你好久了。我一直不想提起,但是你对我这么好,我不忍心伤害你。不知道这是他们第几次见面后。小凡决定将心中的秘密说出来! 以前的我是个坏女孩,我哥是黑社会老大。为了他,我曾经做过一件有违良心的事,到现在我都不能原谅自己。说着说着,小凡陷入了记忆长河: 小凡,有件事让你去办! 她的哥坐在房间的老板椅上,嘴里还吐着大大的烟圈,猛吸一口雪茄后,接着说: 小禅背叛了我!今晚过后,我想让她永远地消失。还有,我想让她很痛苦的消失! 哥,为什么,她是我嫂子呀!你不是最疼她的吗?小凡被震住了。 你执行任务从来不过问原因的!想清楚你自己在干什么!还有,她现在在银河酒吧,我说过,今晚过后,让她消失! 是!小凡应声道,可掩不住自己的满面苍白,她感觉到自己的心在颤抖。一直以来小禅都像母亲一样的照顾着小凡。因为小凡父母死得早,从小她就和哥哥相依为命。接受训练,根本不知道什么是情,直到小禅的出现。而现在,却要杀死给她带来关爱和良知的小禅!这让小凡心如刀绞。 进入银河酒吧,里面的摇滚乐振得人头皮发麻。灯光闪的小凡有点搞不清自己在干什么,吃了摇头丸的人像疯狂的野狗似地甩头。小凡走进二楼包房,一个个的房间门全被她踹开了,里面的情景不堪入目。直到最后拐角的一间,当小凡踹开门时,一个熟悉的身影出现了。小禅穿了件白纱的低胸裙,坐着一动不动,像是在等待小凡的到来。小凡走到她身边,问: 不想解释些什么吗? 解释有用吗?小禅抬起头反问。 喝了它!小凡掂起了一瓶烈酒,伸到了小禅脸前。 不,不要,求求你,让我干干净净地来,尽量干干净净地走,好吗?小禅哭了,跪到了小凡的脚下,小凡明白她的意思。可手下冲了进来,踩住了小禅的头发,掐着她的嘴把整瓶酒全灌了下去,小禅在喊在哭却无法挣扎。她像在肯求小凡什么,小凡却愣愣地看着手下把一把利刀直插进了她的肺部,她倒下了,白色的纱裙成了红色,直沾到了小凡身上,好红。 小凡转身离去,走得那么大方,那么潇洒。这酒吧是他们的场子,以她的身份,杀个人根本不算什么。小凡坐上车回到了哥的房间。 搞定了? 嗯!在这个充满了雪茄味的房间里,小凡一句话也不想说。 进来!哥哥冷笑了一声。 她以后就是你的新大嫂兼我的保镖了,她叫兰梦,功夫不在你之下,小心哦! 哥,我想退出,我想做个正常人!小凡总算是明白哥为什么要处死小禅了。 我要是不同意呢? 哼,你留得住我吗?小凡冷笑一声,头也不回地离开了。 小凡,别说了,我知道你是个善良的女孩!林晨把小凡从记忆深处拉了回来。 还记得我们第一次相见时我对你说你的眼睛吗?现在我告诉你答案,因为我从你的眼睛里看到了干净纯洁,一点都没有受外界的熏染!你大嫂也不是你亲手杀的,这就证明了你的良知还在!既然事情已经过去了,那你就不要再去想了,你现在不是已经开始崭新的生活了吗? 林晨,那你能陪我过这样的生活吗?我喜欢你!小凡主动表白。 我 我也喜欢你 但我怕 怕什么?傻瓜,走吧,下雨了!小凡拉起林晨的手飞快的离开那块草地,此刻他们心与心的距离更加贴了! 四 林晨住院了。小凡以前的一个小弟跑来告诉她的。 他怎么了? 大哥找人把他揍了,还说他再缠着你,就打死他。 小凡万万没有想到,昔日相依为命的大哥竟变得如此绝情!担心林晨会再次出事,小凡马不停蹄的赶往医院。她对林晨已经到了割舍不下的那份感情。 医院里,死一般的沉寂,仿佛随时宣读生命的离去,洁白的床单上,林晨双腿高吊,头上和手上都裹了厚厚一层白纱!小凡看着看着,忍不住落下泪来。 林晨,都怪我不好,是我害了你。想不到大哥出手如此狠毒,这笔债我一定替你讨回。小凡伤心中带着恨意。 小凡,不要,冤冤相报何时了,你大哥这样做也是在乎你啊!你千万别做傻事,好不容易你才从痛苦中挣脱出来,我不希望你为了我再走回头路,那样我会内疚一辈子的。 你为什么对我这么好,我大哥把你打成这样你还不怪他!你为什么 小凡再也抑制不住自己的情绪。抓着林晨的手大哭了起来。 乖,别哭了,你这么大个女孩了,还在别人面前这么哭哭啼啼的,多羞人啊! 我不管,我就喜欢,我看你现在这样我就心疼啊!小凡撒起娇来。 哦!那你这样抓着我的手甩来甩去的,你认为我的病会好吗?我很痛苦的哎。林晨提醒小凡。 小凡这时才发觉自己刚才失控,林晨的手还握在她的手心,连忙轻轻的放下。 不好意思啊!我一时控制不了自己,又让你受罪了!疼吗?小凡一副待宰的小羊羔模样,让林晨忍不住笑了出来。你笑什么啊? 我笑你刚才样子好好可爱哦!活脱脱一个小女孩,根本不像一个酒吧老板 要是谁娶了你,一定很享福的! 是吗?哎,可惜啊!我这种背景的女人是没人敢要的。我都不惹人喜爱! 怎么会呢,我就喜欢你啊!做我女朋友吧!林晨终于也向她表白了。 真的吗?我不是在做梦吧?你不怕我哥再找你麻烦啊? 怕什么,有你这个小魔女在我身边,我还用得着担心吗?你哥也不会笨到谋杀亲妹夫吧!要是你成了寡妇,你不得找你哥拼命啊。林晨调侃着刮了一下小凡的鼻子。 你还笑,讨厌死了!小凡小手欲打上去,却被林晨顺势一拉,落入了林晨温暖的怀抱,那一刻,她觉得自己是这个世界上最幸福的女孩。 五 快过春节了,林晨踏上了归家的列车。南方,久违的南方,此时正是阴雨绵绵。 除夕夜,大家围坐着,餐桌上有林晨爱吃的每一道菜。音响里放着《常回家看看》,歌很老,却很适宜。 电话响起。 你好,新年快乐。林晨握着轻快地问候。 我是小凡,在你家楼下。天哪,小凡让林晨大吃一惊。 多了个小凡,餐桌气氛没有先前那么轻松。音响里换成了陈小春的《独家记忆》。林晨爸爸看了一眼小凡,没说话。 眼神里没有厌恶,没有喜欢,什么内容也没有。林晨姐姐看着小凡,不停地给她夹菜。小凡礼貌地说谢谢。 后来,小凡幽默了许多。林晨爸爸开始看着她笑,林晨姐姐说她真有意思,不辞艰辛,翻山越岭。小凡不好意思地笑了,她懂这意思,可林晨依旧保持沉默。 饭后,小凡抢了洗碗的活,林晨姐姐没有拒绝,他们看着林晨,似乎在等待林晨说些什么。 她是我女朋友。林晨坦白。 她还不错。姐姐说。 就凭她帮你洗碗?林晨说。 不,她的眼睛告诉我她真心爱你。姐姐很肯定。 是,她很爱我,林晨不否定。 属于你的,就抓住。姐姐提醒。 林晨爸爸似乎对小凡也很满意,小凡的突然出现无疑是向他们证明了什么。 后来,小凡和林晨出去放烟花了。从窗户里可以看见楼下林晨在五彩的烟花中的笑脸。 这一夜,林晨很晚回来,爸爸第一次没问为什么。 小凡没见过南方的水乡,她很兴奋,漫步在鱼米之乡,深深的陶醉。水面上留下了她和林晨一张张幸福的笑脸。 清叶坐在林晨家沙发上。林晨与小凡手牵手推开家门,清叶的眼睛紧紧地盯着他们紧握的双手。林晨似乎想挣脱小凡的手,但却被握得更紧。 姐姐惊讶于清叶与小凡的相像。姐姐有点不知所措,小凡脸上布满阴云,姐姐不知该说些什么。 目送清叶离去,每个人都很沉默,似乎都明白了什么。 姐,你该对我说些什么?林晨问。 你想知道什么?对于他的提问姐姐不意外。 你应该知道。 你想知道清叶有没有想你,还是想知道清叶想不想挽回你?姐姐有点冷酷。 原来你们什么都知道。 小凡现在是你女朋友,即使清叶后悔抛弃你,但你现在必须好好爱小凡。 你没权利阻止我。林晨像发怒的狮子。 你想像当初清叶伤害你一样伤害小凡吗? 林晨沉默。 你好自为之。姐姐冷冷地扔给她一句话。 小凡没问姐姐关于清叶的任何事,姐姐佩服她。她懂得尊重一个人的隐私。 林晨爸爸病了,小凡前前后后忙碌着。做饭成了她的又一职责,她毫无怨言。也许,她已把自己当成了林晨家庭的一分子。 六 假期又一次结束,林晨回了学校。这里气候干燥,与南方水乡有着天壤之别。 小凡在外租了房子,让林晨搬去同住,林晨拒绝了。小凡说他不爱她,林晨说怎么样才算爱你?小凡不语,林晨说这样挺好,她说随便。 好友小谦问林晨。 爱情顺利吗? 也许吧! 怎么了? 我是一个不愿为爱情而活的人。 你很现实。 爱情本来就是一场游戏,一场梦。 你的心是冷的。 男人永远是在爱情里被彻底伤害的人。 你不应该这么认为。 男人本来就是易骗的。 你很极端。 爱情本来就不对等。 世上没有完美的事。 是啊,这本来就是一个还存在爱情但可以没有爱情的年代。 好友小谦惊呆了。因为林晨的话。 林晨彻底忘记了清叶,他的眼神已经告诉了世人一切。小凡感动了他。清叶再没出现过,也许她在新加坡生活得比他们每一个人都好。 林晨牵着小凡的手穿过大街小巷。天桥上,一个盲人在卖唱,警察让他离开,影响市容。小凡掏出仅有的硬币,一共2枚,一枚一元,扔进被警察踢得老远的碗里,很清脆的声音。警察怒视小凡,路人好奇地看着小凡,林晨忙拉着她走出了人围。 表哥王辉再度失恋。又一个女人抛弃他投入别人怀抱。表哥再也无心恋爱。远走新加坡! 昏暗的走廊里,林晨紧紧握着表哥的手,不说话,静得足以让人窒息。林晨的心对他说不该低头,该愧疚的不是他。 你是女的多好呀,那世界上就又多了一个爱我的女人。临走的时候,王辉对林晨说。他的眼泪打湿了林晨的衬衣,受此影响,林晨的泪也开始滑落。 经过了这么多,看着身边的朋友一个个被爱情折磨,林晨剪掉了所有的头发,戴上了小凡送的帽子。他已不再需要过去那种压抑的生活了,他要重新开始。 流星雨夜,林晨与小凡狂奔于欢呼的人群里,流星雨出现那一刻,小凡摘下手腕上的许愿星,那是林晨送给她的,林晨说里面有他的梦。 小凡指着闪烁的流星雨说她的眼泪在飞,林晨说你该许个愿,小凡笑笑说已经没有梦了。只要能跟你在一起。于是,林晨双掌合一,在心里悄悄许下一个愿望,希望小凡像流星般闪亮夺目。 小凡留了长发,她说用长发来遮盖过去的她。因为过去短发残酷的她已不存在。她想和林晨过另一种生活。对于清叶,林晨默默祝福她。 七 时间记载了太多,大学生活有许多变动。林晨习惯了在缓缓畅流的日子里默默固定那份安静。安静给了他更多的思考,让他对已走过的路看得更为清晰。 我的风筝确定了,就是你。林晨对小凡说。 你不后悔吗? 我不会后悔的。 我也是! 我想我们一定会幸福的。 嗯,幸福就在我们身旁。那我们一定要抓住了,千万别放手! 你放心,即使你放手我也不会放手的! 傻瓜,我也不会放手的。林晨心里有一股暖流。 马上毕业了,每一个人都在忙着写毕业论文。林晨用笔坚实地在纸上写下《命运》这个题目。四年的大学生活,经历了太多,改变了太多,都永远逃不出命运的安排。这是规则,更像是一场游戏,游戏里有人欢喜有人忧。 顺利毕业后,林晨留在了北方。在检察院工作,很安稳,也很轻松,却没有了大学时代的自由与舒适。 林晨忙碌于工作的繁琐与复杂之间。主任说他很利落,林晨说性格所致,主任说他思想敏捷,林晨说他该去当警察,然后主任就大笑。他们总爱开玩笑。 25岁生日那天,小凡为他开了个生日Partty。 很久没这么热闹了,其实林晨不在乎生日,小凡说本命年应该庆祝,林晨说他感到好温暧。然后他把小凡抱起来。他很幸福。那一刻,眼泪在眼睛里打转,这一夜,林晨喝了许多酒,但没醉。 夜深了,送走参加生日Partty的同事。林晨带着满身奶油味拉着小凡走进了教堂,里面烛光闪烁。耶酥雕像被映衬得更加庄严与神圣了。曾经,林晨无数次想像与心爱的女人手挽手站在这红地毯上互相交换戒指。但今晚,他的梦想成真了。 小凡,嫁给我好吗?耶苏前林晨拿出了一个精美的钻石戒指,诚恳的对小凡说。 你 你说的是真的吗?小凡不敢相信自己的耳朵。 是真的,你愿意吗?林晨闭上双目,双掌合一,做出祈祷状。 我,我愿意!小凡等这天已经很久了,此刻她真的很开心。 八 这一夜,下雨了。林晨唤醒新婚三个月的妻子小凡。 你看,雨。林晨说。 她出神地看着,然后轻轻地闭上眼睛。 抱抱我好吗?老公。小凡说。 于是林晨钻进被窝,他紧紧地抱着小凡,眼泪一滴一滴落在她的脸上,又滑入她嘴里,咸咸的。 老公,你怎么了?小凡捧着林晨的脸,我还在,我会陪你的。你哭我也哭。 不,老婆,刚才都怪我不好,是我太激动,想起以前的伤心事,一时控制不了自己的情绪。这个雨夜,他们俩紧紧相拥。 好日子终究不长,在一个大雨交加的夜晚,林晨永远离开了小凡,那个醉酒的该死的司机,那辆雪白的轿车,那一抹红色。带走了林晨年轻的生命!很凄凉。小凡带着林晨的遗像飞往了日本。上机前,小凡对姐姐说照顾好爸,那感觉似乎她要尾随林晨而去。 小凡剃了头去了道观,这是她最终的选择!生活如此可悲,自始至终,老天都在与林晨和小凡开着玩笑。相爱的人注定不能永远生活在一起 清叶回来了,她顶替了林晨检察院的工作,每天她都在心中默默的为林晨祈祷,只为怀念死去的林晨。 后来,她结婚了,在她26岁那年,新郎和林晨长得很像。 这是命运的安排,命运被定义了太多规则,在这些规则中,每个人都与身边的人进行着游戏,都认为自己是赢家。 然而,许多人被定义在太多规则中,还未走到头,就开始向命运投降了 后记 故事结束了,我不禁想到自己。我也是个被命运安排的人,但我总觉得命运可以改变,这也就是为什么人与人之间有差距了!想改变命运的人可以扬帆远航,而甘于屈服于命运的人却要劳死一生!

赞 (散文编辑:可儿) 我家微信时代的年三十

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After more than an hour, the tangled senior high school entrance examination was about to be dismissed, which became the same as the senior high school entrance examination in previous years. Several families were happy and several families were worried. Nevertheless, the beacon smoke of senior high school entrance examination will not calm down immediately. It will also be in the hearts of students and many parents, running around and tossing up and down. The annual senior high school entrance examination is called many people’s hearts, at this time, it really became 15 buckets to fetch water. Every year during the college entrance examination and senior high school entrance examination, many people criticize the current examination system and even question the national education system. It can only be said that this kind of mood can be understood, it reflects the inner expectation of several parents to look forward to their children and women. However, the country is so large and the development is extremely uneven, so it is difficult to have a better and comprehensive method to introduce. Before there is no better way to replace the current examination system, such unified proposition and centralized examination can ensure the fairness of selecting talents, at least, to the maximum extent. As parents, who doesn’t expect their children to go to high school smoothly and continue their studies. Although nowadays many vocational and technical secondary schools offer many practical technology courses, which provide many opportunities for the re-employment of many children, in terms of knowledge structure and future trend, it is still very different from the second choice that we will face three years later. In this way, it does not emphasize that only entering the threshold of university and receiving university education systematically can it be regarded as talents. After all, there is a realistic situation of starting point and supporting platform. All the sayings are based on hard study and hard progress. If you think that if you enter the university, you can rest easy, do not learn professional courses well, do not pay attention to the accumulation of knowledge in all aspects, and when you graduate from university, you will face cruel elimination. Such an example, not one or two. Therefore, no matter which type of school, the key is to have the motive power. If you have enough motivation, set higher goals, and achieve your expectations step by step, I believe that different starting points and different supporting platforms will certainly have different results, the life path of boys and girls will be different. This is also what many junior high school teachers said when they discussed with many parents privately. Senior high school entrance examination has become more important than college entrance examination. After this diversion, many children will not be able to enter the high school stage, and naturally they will not be able to attend the college entrance examination three years later. It doesn’t mean that children who go to secondary school or vocational high school after diversion have no future and can’t become talents, but looking at the current talent structure, children who can stand out are not so easy, we have to make more efforts than others, and compared with the number of people, it is not much. It is also such a reality that urges many parents to try every means to make their children enter high school and study for another three years, facing a higher level of selection. Therefore, the annual senior high school entrance examination is entangled with the mood of how many people. It is often that the family has examinees, the whole family mobilizes, everything is for examinees, and everything is for examinees. Of course, there are some parents who are not rational and calm enough and care too much about children’s examination, which virtually encourages the waves of senior high school entrance examination. Looking back, facing such a life choice, children are still young, can parents not worry about it? Don’t worry at this time, when will you wait? Everyone knows that this is a barrier, a decisive battle in life that can’t see the smoke, and the first time for a child to face such a cruel life choice. At this time, he is not nervous or concerned, there are several more important things than this! In recent days, I also joined a large team of accompanying examinees. It was said to be accompanying examinees, which was actually a kind of comfort. It was similar to medical placebos, but children cared about it and there was nothing to say. As early as ten days before the senior high school entrance examination, the eldest daughter asked the young one whether her father was ready to accompany the examination. The senior high school entrance examination and college entrance examination are all in Anhui hometown. During the examination, I took time to go back to my hometown and accompanied her all the way, so I left an indelible impression in her heart, it seemed that this girl enjoyed the day when I went home to accompany the exam, so when the junior high school entrance exam came, she asked. Although the little one said she was not clear, how could she hide the trick in her heart from my eyes? In that case, there was nothing to hesitate. The accompanying exam is not as easy as ordinary people imagine. It is difficult to describe it with one word. The mood follows the mood of children. After each exam, they all need to see their expressions change. If there is a situation of poor performance, you should not be angry with it. You should persuade the children to ignore it, concentrate on preparing for the next game, and even pretend to say some encouraging words easily to stabilize the children’s mood, no matter how critical the time is, the mood will fluctuate greatly. Otherwise, the next exam will be really terrible. The unspeakable entanglement and unspeakable suffering are only the clearest ones. After a while, the senior high school entrance examination, which was appealing and stirring people’s hearts, was going to withdraw from the army, but it was impossible to say that everything would be fine after the exam was over. The days waiting for next were more tough and more difficult to calm down. It can only be said that when the Ming Jin withdrew his troops, the smoke did not disperse. This anxiety changed from tangible to intangible. But before the result came out, would it irritate people and make them difficult to sit and sleep. Alas, what can I do? What could be better?

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The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them…

Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store”

Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018)

January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s…

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It may not rain on a cloudy day. Breaking up may not be the saddest. Hatred does not necessarily last forever. Disappointment is not necessarily despair. Facing it, it may not be the hardest thing. Loneliness is not necessarily unhappy. Have, don’t have to be. Silence is not necessarily indifference. If you lose it, you may not have it any more. Failure does not necessarily mean giving up. Miracles may not appear. As long as this second is not desperate, there will be hope in the next second! Meeting in the vast sea of people is fate. Even if you miss each other, it is also a kind of harvest in your heart. It is enough to meet a bosom friend in life. Life is too short for decades. It is not easy to truly fall in love with someone. Don’t Hurt easily, especially those who care about feelings! Don’t fall in love with anyone easily, rather than lack or abuse

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era

The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them…

Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store”

Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018)

January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s…

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Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,…

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January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,…

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January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Posted in Srtkepli

It turned out to be colorful, and it seemed like this, all of them were ruined. There is nothing to do with the beautiful scenery, and there is something to enjoy —— the silk and bamboo are sweet to hear, the singing voice of the beautiful mother is gentle, just like the yellow orioles, the figure is graceful, the sleeves are light and comfortable, and those joys, it is often completed only between a flip of Orchid finger and a flow of Bright Eyes, which is extremely elegant and beautiful. Opera including Kunqu Opera was just like the voice of China today. Hundreds of years ago, there was also a large-scale performance in the crowded square, at that time, people also gathered together to sing and dance for a while with today’s boring mood of listening to songs. The participation of all people was unprecedented. Anyone who has a wedding or a wedding event will also invite a play, just like our singing station today and watching TV, which is so frequent and common. Hundreds of years ago, because we didn’t have TV and Internet, we would hum those flowery poems in order to pass the boring time. Li Bai, Su Dongpo and others were Fang Wenshan who wrote blue and white porcelain today. We will also take a writing brush and write a few strokes, just like our computer typing today. We will also order a sandalwood, make a pot of tea, prepare a plate of melon seeds, taste the tea flavor and have a chat, just like we often drink milk tea today. Then the times developed, and we walked all the way-today, although we took off the ancient clothes, although we didn’t have much time to appreciate and taste the slow and elegant opera, although tea, calligraphy and painting are all put on the shelf by us and collected as art rather than daily necessities. But that doesn’t mean we forget them. The spirit of pursuing beauty and delicacy is still deeply rooted in our bones. If you observe carefully, you will find that the pen of calligraphy is very gesture. Instead of saying that we are writing, we should rather say that we are expressing ourselves, so each pen has a different style. Every cup of tea expresses our quietness, our thoughts on life and our love for the nature. Because of that love, we collect every petal, after they wither, let them bloom again in the green water of ceramics, and let their fragrance diffuse again-we pursue a better and aesthetic lifestyle in our bones, this also explains why today we love losing weight, and good figure makes us live more poetic. From pursuing the beauty of lifestyle to pursuing the pure beauty of first love, the beauty of temperament, this pursuit is persistent and deep-if we want to express the beauty of human nature, first love and love are the best genre. If we meet each other at the beginning of life, the shy and implicit beauty in our first love, the vibration and tacit understanding of our hearts make us radiant, and love makes us beautiful, how regretful it would be if I hadn’t experienced the feeling of love? In order to retain the feeling of vibration and floating in the heart, The Peony Pavilion came into being. Where can Li Niang die for love and live for love? Compared with Shakespeare Romeo and Juliet who just die for love, how great our old Uncle Tang Xianzu is! As the time goes by, there is only one of the tens of thousands of people who knows you, knows your beauty and uniqueness, and is willing to devote his whole life to guarding this beauty. What he wants to pursue all his life may be just a smile of yours, but for him, every movement of you, even anger, has a hint of charm in his eyes, let him be like smoking opium, unable to stop — our pursuit of love is a mixture of our dedication spirit of pursuing youth and youth, smiling for Boyi people and working overtime to earn money. Because we know that as we grow older, we become more rational, and we can no longer do it for the original beauty, Despite everything. Maybe the praise for love was just for praising the extreme affection that she was desperate for herself-there was no war, no extreme poverty and no poor life now. To a certain extent, we depend on our own labor to get enough food and clothing. On the premise that the material must be satisfied, our spirit begins to wake up and grow. Those delicate and complicated beauty were not only art, but also a kind of life style of US, the beautiful and yearning life style we tried our best to pursue. Let’s open the prelude to the Oriental Renaissance and firmly carry forward our own fragrant beauty which has been deposited for thousands of years. Although the lack of this kind of culture makes us full of sense of alienation and urgency, we must do it, because we cannot be a nation without characteristics and bright spots, nor can we discard our history and past, you can’t just live for survival. Traditional culture is like cells filling every inch of our skin. Let’s do a volunteer and shout for the recovery of a beautiful culture!

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An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018)

January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Posted in Jrshjmoewho

另一只鸟的故事. 看着眼前丰盈的食物,五颜六色馋人嘴的茶资, 砰 醒堂木敲出一声清脆响声,八哥鸟语气欢愉的,今天我再讲一段我的传奇故事给你们听。八哥鸟用喙慢条斯理梳理着翅膀的羽毛,睨了一眼眼前的众鸟,用喙轻咬着脚踝上一个白色的脚箍,抬起头,羽毛在中午阳光的反照下闪着阵阵油光。八哥鸟对站在桕树上羽毛也是黑白相间的瓦铃啷鸟道:你之前不是问我,我脚踝上这个白色的脚箍是怎么回事?我现在告诉你。八哥鸟指着在田间劳作的人群道:呐,我脚上这个白色的脚箍就是这种动物给我箍上去的,他们自称自己为人类。 给我箍上这个白色脚箍的是一个三十几岁的男人,长得还算清秀,只是走起路来,他走路的姿势有别于旁人,好像随时要跌翻地上似的,他的身体缺少了一份柔韧多了一份僵硬,他走路的姿势着实是很别扭,却喜欢行走,常常撇下我独自去闲逛。偶尔倚门独自远望,不知他心中思想什么鬼东西,身孤的影子迷茫的眼神,可这个家伙从不在我面前吐露心事,常常独自对着远方出神。 八哥鸟咽下一颗熟透的牛筋籽,道:看到他落寞的神情,我飞到他的肩膀上低鸣轻唱,我本想给他逗闷,可这个坏家伙少领我的情,把我从他的肩膀上赶下来,恶死的吼,滚开,滚开,自个玩去。哼哼。八哥鸟忿忿的道:竟敢吼我,我故意在他的耳沿上咬上一口,为有此,他才会恢复往日的快乐。 我们常常玩耍在夕阳西下的黄昏,他唤我时吹一声长长的口哨,我对他是亦步亦趋,紧跟他的脚步,或前或后,像呆瓜似的,那一刻我竟忘记了自己原来还会飞翔,累了时我就站在他的脚盘上,常常我们是这样子闲逛. 在野外生存的方法,有些方法还是他教识我的呢.正如我脚踝上的这个白色脚箍,可不是为了美丽而给我戴上的装饰品,他是为我的安全考虑才给我戴上这个白色的脚箍的,有了这个脚箍我就像有了一张身份证,可与人类共享空间的证明,我的生命在他们的地盘上有了保证,我可以肆无忌惮的飞翔其中,嘴馋时还能得到一点意想不到的点心.对了,我问你们,你们有谁吃食过海鲜? 群鸟听问,摇头无语,大山雀的表情似山老古没看过马蹄印,稀奇的问道:何为海鲜?八哥鸟神气的道:那些人说是扇贝,看他们的馋相,我吃来味道也不咋的.不如熟透的牛筋籽好吃. 望着眼前群鸟资以的丰盛茶资,五颜六色的野果子,八哥鸟道:想想,还真是怀念和坏家伙一起吃西瓜的情景. 昨天,我和你远远看见一个人走路怪怪的,就是我说的坏家伙.八哥鸟对站在身旁长得漂亮的雌八哥鸟道. 哈,真有点怀念与那个坏家伙戏耍夕阳西下的时光,我们戏耍的情形羡煞了几多眼睛,记得有人对他劝说过,说给我过多的自由,有一天我会远飞他乡不再回来.劝他要把我关进笼子里,坏家伙不听他的,还说:笼子之外还是一个笼子,关与不关有什么区别呢? 可你还是离开了他.雌八哥说. 八哥鸟温柔的看着站在身边漂亮的雌八哥鸟,甜蜜的道:人类有句成语叫乐不思蜀. 八哥鸟望着侣伴双飞的天鹅,对雌八哥道:我再教你一句成语.指着比翼远飞的天鹅的身影,人类对这种爱情经常形容说的一句成语叫"比翼双飞",意思是说生死不离对爱情忠贞坚守. 望着四散去的群鸟,八哥鸟道:天下无不散的筵席.我们也走吧. 雌八哥鸟道:这句话是什么意思?八哥鸟道:我以后再解释给你听...... 一 中午时分,一个读小学六年级的小男孩找到我,对我道:叔,送你只小鸟,我爸爸说你有个空鸟笼.这只鸟叫什么名字?小男孩问我. 我接过小鸟,端详之后道:红屁股子.又叫高髻凤子.我问小男孩道:你怎样得到这只小鸟的? 小男孩笑着道:我放学回来就看到这只小鸟蹲在我家的厅堂里,我本想自己养,我爸爸说我还在读书,容易分了心,他叫我送来给你,说前不久你养的八哥鸟飞走了,有一个空鸟笼. 作别小男孩. 我把这只雏高髻凤子放在我摊开的掌心上,静等好一会儿,它只蹲伏在我的手掌中,头左右晃动四下打量陌生的环境,胆怯的只是蹲伏在我的手掌心,不愿飞去,不敢飞去.它的反应比我的想象相差甚远,我原本猜想,等恢复神定它自会飞去.从外貌看,羽毛虽未长全,它亦可飞翔.事实却并非如此,这是一只未学会飞翔的雏鸟.这是一只调皮的鸟儿,莽撞的鸟儿,它好奇着巢外的世界,探头探脑之际,外面五颜六色精彩的世界,对未知的向往忘乎所以爬出巢沿仍未知,它钟情如何事呢?是一只打眼前飞过的昆虫?浑然忘我在险境,一个倒栽葱慌乱之下张开双翅,它不是以飞的姿势,它是以滑翔的姿势无法控制的滑落在人类居住的厅堂.莽撞的行为从此改变它的一生. 轻轻的我对雏鸟吹一口气,轻柔的气浪撞击它的身体本能反应,它把身体向下压瓷实的伏在我的手掌中,发出惶恐的唧唧的鸣声,小心的把它放入笼中,放入食物我把笼中的水盘注满水,挂在晾衣服的衣架上. 鸟儿竟然不会自食.又是我料想不及的. 风,这是只什么鸟? 高髻凤子. 如何得来的? 一个小孩送的. 谁? 辉的儿子. 此鸟啼鸣好听吗? 不知道. 它吃什么食物的? 它是吃食物的. 真是小人讲话,我是说此种鸟吃什么样的食物? 不知道. 一问三不知的,你为何养,不如把它放了. 是没意思的.我翻起白眼道:你知道巢穴在哪就送回去. 军被我噎的,走到我面前不说话,直勾勾盯着我看,然后道:人无知真的是无药可救,你以为你长得真是够好样子,我吃饱了撑的.末了,加一句道:你以为你是西施?就算是西施我也不照你. 我是西施不成了人妖.滚滚滚,你家缺水吗?来到我这儿总是撬茶撬水,水鬼投胎似的. 好叻,我家的井水比你家的甜,你以为我喜欢来你这儿喝水,我是担心你的水放久了变成潲水,这样做是犯法的知道不,没看新闻?现在提倡节约能源,哼哼,水资源紧张就是你这种人造成的,要不是我隔三差五来帮你消灭点儿水,保不定有一天把你拉去枪毙. 军的大论听入我耳心为之惊惊,我唯有陪着笑讨好他道:喝红茶还是铁观音? 军大马金刀坐在椅子上道:最近肚里缺油水,喝红茶. 我把刚拿出的铁观音茶放回去,拿来红茶边泡茶、头摇如拨浪鼓道:没有家庭温暖的人就是这种德性. 吝啬茶叶你明说,我不要你这一小杯茶水. 听到军这样说,我满心欢喜道:谢谢体谅,我自己喝、、、、、、 话未说完,军道:给我来个大茶碗. 军突转的口风,他的语气差一点儿把我撞翻在地上.我苦笑着道:交友不慎就应该是这种下场!怪自己,怎么能认识了这样的白眼狼. 军不理我的抱怨,夸张的砸巴着嘴,见牙不见眼笑着道:香,真香,没开水了,快去烧壶开水来. 我刚站起身,沗在门口喊我:风,你养的这只鸟是高髻凤子?还未学会自食?刚才,远远的我看到有两只老鸟好像来给这只雏鸟喂食. 我应答沗道:是好像不会自食,辉的儿子刚送来的,不会吧,有这样的奇事,有老鸟来给它喂食? 刚才我看到有两只老鸟拍动翅膀用爪子抓住笼侧边,样子像是给这只雏鸟喂食.沗又道:错不了,刚才的两只老鸟真的是来给这只雏鸟喂食的,你出来看看,这只雏鸟的喙上还有残留下来的食物. 果不其然,雏鸟的喙上残留有像糠渣的食物.我道:这两只老鸟的行为真个稀奇,保不定是这只雏鸟的父母? 沗道:看情景应该是这只雏鸟的父母. 军对这一奇怪之事啧啧称奇. 充满想象的发现,我对高髻凤子的鸟性平添增起无限的好奇. 之后,我留了一个心眼儿. 从外形看,这两只老高髻凤子是神俊漂亮,前额至头顶羽色默黑油亮,头顶束起高高的羽髻,眼下方有一深红色羽簇,形成一红斑;耳羽和颊白色,紧连于红斑的下方,颈、背、尾上覆羽是棕褐色,好一只姣鸟。 老高髻凤子来到时有个特点,这对老高髻凤子到来时每每发出阵阵高亢婉转的啼叫.听到这对老高髻凤子的啼叫,我有意的躲在远远的一旁,留意这两只老高髻凤子的举动.老高髻凤子站在离鸟笼约五米远的电杆线上,发出阵阵啼叫,同时观察着鸟笼里雏鸟的反应,看到雏鸟的反应迟钝,两只老高髻凤子索性飞临鸟笼上空,啼叫着盘旋着,盘旋着啼叫着,至雏鸟对他们的呼唤作出反应,倚笼边鸣啼,张开喙乞求着食物,两只老高髻凤子好像对雏鸟作出的反应比较满意,双飞离而去. 一会儿,一小会的功夫,两只老高髻凤子衔来食物,从食物的的形状看来,是农人喂鸡的食物.两只老高髻凤子透过笼的缝隙给笼里的雏鸟喂食,看到这个情形,对高髻凤子爱犊的鸟性,我的心中腾起一股异样的感觉,于心有点不忍去隔离开它们. 我猜测着想,还有什么样的鸟有如此不抛不弃的爱呢? 一天的时光两只老高髻凤子要来喂食五六次.就是在雨天,它们也是站在电杆线上不愿离去,于雨中长啼.高髻凤子爱幼的母性父性,感动了我,迫使我提回鸟笼到房间.两只老高髻凤子看不到雏鸟悲啼离去. 看到两只老高髻凤子飞离雨中,我去到鸟笼前,打开笼门,逗引起雏鸟来.雏鸟还未长全父母的容貌,黑白相间的头,却未见其间的红斑,浅棕色的羽毛,身体小巧依人,伏在我的掌心上啁啾鸣叫.再喂给它一点食物,放回笼中,雏鸟闭着眼睛似是睡去了.翌日,放晴的天气,阳光饱满白云稀薄,上午十点左右,我提鸟笼到一处矮树旁,打开鸟笼门,离开远站,静等两只老高髻凤子的到来,让它们领自己的孩儿回去. 不一会儿,两只老高髻凤子衔着食物飞来,万般逗引下,雏鸟才慢腾腾的走出笼门,两只老高髻凤子欢鸣着,老鸟千万般的呼喊下,雏鸟迟疑着笨拙的拍动翅膀,胆怯的爬上笼门前一枝小树枝上,树枝离笼门是我算计好了的距离,方便雏鸟爬上去. 我静静等待,目送雏鸟跟随父母回到属于它们的世界. 三十分钟,一刻钟,雏鸟却紧紧抓着树枝,不愿跟随父母回去.穷它父母千万般儿的呼唤,雏鸟只是紧紧抓住树枝,不愿挪动一下身体.两只老高髻凤子甚是无奈,其间它们半途飞去,给这只雏鸟衔来食物. 雏鸟发出阵阵焦急的鸣叫,看到这个情景,我知道雏鸟不是不想离去,而是它还未学会飞翔.我捉起雏鸟放回笼中,此后,我与两只老高髻凤子共喂这只雏鸟.期间,我和两只老高髻凤子照面最短的距离只有一笼之隔,当然这样短距离接触是我有意为之潜伏所起的杰作. 雏鸟学会自食是十天之后,之后的一天,两只老高髻凤再也没来给这只雏鸟喂食.起初,三五天它们会飞回来看一眼关在笼中的孩儿,十天半月之后,难再见它们的影踪. 二 雏鸟长大俨然是只成鸟,头顶耸起的的黑色羽冠,黑白分明的脸颊,却少了眼下方红色的羽簇.奇怪之余,每天心切的检查它眼下方看有无红色的羽簇生出,这种特征却从未出现.急切迷惑之余,我想,也许这种特征是要在它性成熟才会长出. 雏鸟长成大鸟的高髻凤子,不怕人,在我细若可闻的口哨声的唤叫下,高髻凤子张开喙,闪动舌头依附我手边发出啾啾的鸣叫.样子温顺可爱.高耸的羽冠贴下去,站在我手上发出啾啾的细鸣声.如此模样,看它欢喜的样子,我联想起,长离家中,在某一刻回家时,还未到家门口,自家眼明耳聪养的土狗,闪电般的跑来迎接自己,扑在身上贴耳磨蹭亲热的吠叫. 高髻凤子的动作与认主人的土狗极其相似呢. 第一次放飞高髻凤子,它不是飞翔蓝天上,一头的钻进一丛矮而浓密的草丛里,胆怯的藏身其里不敢出来.恢复神定也是躲在草丛中啁啾的回应我的呼唤.放回笼中,熟悉的环境下,高髻凤子稍作作息,神气的在笼中的枝棍间左腾右跃,偶尔发出阵阵婉约的啼鸣. 第二次放飞时我高高抛起高髻凤子,抛起天空的高髻凤子张翅飞翔,作一个漂亮优雅的弧线,飞落在我脚下.此鸟胆怯还是无法适应笼子外陌生的环境. 第三次我打开鸟笼门,把鸟笼挂在可移动晾衣服的衣架上,好让高髻凤子对陌生的环境有一个适应的过程,我不再理它,约半刻钟,高髻凤子发出一串长啼,展翅飞起.可惜它不是飞向蔚蓝的长空,却是飞进我的房间落在台上,迅速的躲在水暧筒的背后.我把它捉起放在台面上,它抬起头可怜巴巴的瞅着我.可怜的小样,如此依人,我想,何妨长久喂养的伴我身旁. 一个月后,再次放飞高髻凤子,它不像前几次害怕笼外面的环境,胆敢孤身在一片空地自玩,我站在远处静静的看它玩耍.打自鸟笼飞落地上,高髻凤子只是跳跃地面上,从远处跳跃到我的脚边,在我脚边转悠一会儿,跳跃着走向远处,说远,也就是五六米的距离.有些时,高髻凤子也侧着头望向空旷的天空,期间我没能看到它展翅飞翔. 以下发生的事情裂人的天意作弄,我走进房间,茶还未喝完一杯,刚喝上两口,高髻凤子发出凄惨的悲啼.我赶出时,看到一只黑色的大猫追着高髻凤子抓咬,地上羽毛片片狼藉,险恶的境况,我大声吓退作恶的黑猫.猫退,高髻凤子匍伏在地上,我担心它的伤势严重,刚走近,高髻凤子扑楞楞出尽全身力气靠近我.检查完它的伤,除肚下方一道伤口,有一只翅膀被猫咬断,伤口处血肉模糊,看它受伤的严重性,我不知能否救活它.对伤口我仔细处理完,把它放进鸟笼,高髻凤子无力站稳笼里的枝棍上,我把它放在笼底. 我放一杯水在它面前,拿来食物,我把食物递到它面前,高髻凤子还能张喙自食,我悬起的心稍作放下.担心它的伤势,半刻钟我观察一次,渐渐的高髻凤子的精神越来越差,常常是闭着眼睛,状似昏迷. 生命常于意外面前嘎然而止,奇迹往往发生在常识之外.佛语精偈:一花一世界,一叶一传奇.诠释的也许就是生命的深度. 2013.10.21

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2018年1月12号: 前天的时候,我说:“母亲明天去昆山。”然而昨天,母亲并没有去昆山…

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What makes us become strangers? What makes me so arrogant? If you can forgive me for my unfilial piety. There are too many people in this life who are trapped by too many things. There are too many people who can’t let go of this life. This life has suffered a lot of bitterness, and there are too many unfulfilled in this life. Maybe this life I am lucky, without experiencing any disaster; Maybe this life I am lonely, and no one can understand my heart. Maybe this life I am happy with someone who loves me. Sometimes I feel very wronged, but this is my choice after all. No matter how hard it is, I have to grind my teeth and go on. Don’t regret for your choice, because this is your choice. Regret is just a kind of dissatisfaction with reality. Maybe you will be scarred by thorns all the way, but how can you remember if you don’t experience the unforgettable pain? Maybe it is lucky for you to enjoy the fragrance of flowers and fruits all the way. Don’t be upset about some people or things. Put your mind right and face all these with a smile. Those who should come always come and can’t stop them. Why don’t you greet them with a smile? Now I am not beautiful, so I can say that nothing can be achieved. I am confused about where to go in the future, but I firmly believe that everyone’s existence will have the value of his own existence and I must have the value of my existence. Maybe someone would laugh at me, someone looked down upon me, or someone was disappointed with me, but I didn’t regret my result today, just like that sentence, you have to go down on your knees. I am very rebellious, and I will try my best to make my parents angry. Maybe I am getting fun from it. I know that I can’t repay my parents’ kindness, and I also know that Pepsi filial piety comes first, but I am full of hatred for them, and I understand that this is my fault, but no matter how I am, I can’t eliminate my disgust for my parents. Mom and Dad, I know you hope I can stand out. You are full of hope for me, but I make you feel cold again and again. Sorry, I can’t eliminate my hatred for you all the time, the hatred hidden in my heart from childhood. I hope time can take away my loneliness and pride. I hope time can shorten our distance. I hope time can make us really like a family. I hope all this is still in time.

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era

The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them…

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Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing…

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An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018)

January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Posted in Hyngqlgrph

2014 arrived, tell yourself something! In this year, I saw a lot, and I saw the trade of power, money and flesh in the dark society. I saw that for money and career, for my own ambition, I took power and power as the chip of my career. I met a lot of people. They were alive, but they seemed to be dead. They seemed to have finally understood the hidden rules of this society, operating calculations, selling themselves, selling bodies and selling souls, they feel that they have finally found a way to succeed. They are very proud of their intelligence. They no longer believe in struggle or down-to-earth walking. They run and jump desperately, going forward with three or four footprints or four or five footprints, they are deeply afraid of falling behind and others, and they are thinking about eating a bite and becoming a fat person or stepping on the top of success step by step. Sometimes, I will also be influenced by such emotions. Around me are a group of people who have scheming and good management and try their best to achieve their goals, they are self-righteous and smart and laugh at me as a fool. I am a fool who doesn’t understand any hidden rules, calculation and management. Maybe I don’t understand, but don’t want to lose myself, I am a fool who only knows to stick to myself, stick to myself and walk seriously and down-to-earth. I don’t want to worry, let alone spend time on operation and calculation. I just think that I have such efforts, I can read more books and write more articles. Some people say that in this world, the rich second generation and the official second generation are horizontal and horizontal, and those second generation who have wealth and fame without any effort, but what on earth are we doing like this. But even so, I still stick to it. There is no other reason for me to stick to hard work, struggle and seriousness, study, study, myself and myself, it’s just that I like me like this. Maybe I will never learn what they do, but I just want to stick to this kind of me. If I become like them one day, even if I succeed, I will not be happy, because I lost myself. Some things such as success, fame, money and power are far less important than you imagine, at least they are not important enough to require you to sacrifice yourself, besides, do you think those hidden rules can really help you achieve success? Don’t be played by hidden rules in the end. I don’t know yet. I just want to say that in the new year, I will work harder, be more persistent, be stronger, be more persistent, fight harder, fight harder, and be warm, natural, casual, and persistent, A strong, persistent and faithful girl. Hehe, I hope you too!

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era

The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them…

Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store”

Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018)

January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s…

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January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018)

January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Posted in Fbmxjzb

Outside the window, the white clouds are leisurely, just like the ethereal thoughts, coming and going without direction or restraint. On the side of the window, my eyes drifted to the far direction with the clouds, without any hesitation. Some of them were the yearning overflowing from the bottom of my heart. How many people’s hopes are carried by the river of time, and how many natural miracles are created in the Big Sky. It becomes sunny after the rain, and the air becomes fresh. Looking far away, there is a green ocean looming between buildings. The flowers and plants in the distance will bloom to their fullest after yesterday’s rain, the attachment and love for life spread clearly in the air. A hint of faint scent blows to the nose with the gentle wind, breathing vigorously, smelling the sweetness in the air heartily, and the long-lost heart suddenly appears like a naughty child. What is the interpretation of life? The persistence in the heart has never changed. Leave a hope in the bottom of the heart. Let the sweat of hard work flow on your cheeks. Only when the wind blows and the rain blows can you be stronger. People should keep learning, which means that they are growing constantly. As long as they are in the direction of dreams, one day they will grow into what they want. Sitting quietly in front of the window, I felt unprecedented peace in my heart, looking at the distance unscrupulously, constantly looking for the direction of my dream. The fragrance of the flowers in the distance seemed to come near, touching the softness in the deep of my soul. The flowers were stretching the slender waist, waiting to bloom. The sound of blooming flowers is a kind of hope flowing. It is like the joy of growing up as time goes by, and more like the expectation of strong and mature hope in growing up. Waiting for flowers to bloom in front of the window, what kind of soft intestines is that? The bright sunshine shines on the vast world, and the fragrance of flowers bursts. The noise of the old days corresponds to the joyful words at this time. The clouds are just like the most beautiful woman, staring at her with affectionate and silent eyes, eyes are full of desire for life.

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era

The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them…

Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store”

Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing…

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January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018)

January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

Posted in Cotbnuar

It is said that a good man can fight hard to love someone, and that a good woman can be willing to stay together to love someone. It is said that when love is indifferent, it is like the South Pole and the North Pole, it is said that how many heroes in Ancient and Modern Times shed tears on confidante, how many love hides beauty, crowded sadness, who can bravely not give up, it is said that I will stay with you well in this life, love you with heart, love you———

Like (prose editor: Jiangnan wind) the 30th year of my WeChat era

The year before last, my eunuch planned to buy a smartphone for him on his birthday. The main purpose was to teach them how to play WeChat, and let them…

Comments on the Chinese version of “worry-free grocery store”

Everyone moves towards a better life through his own efforts. The answer to the consultation letter is just encouraging an existing…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 14, 2018)

January 14, 2018: Today, the temperature in Wujiang is relatively warm, not as cold as a few days ago. Yesterday and Today, Wu Jiang’s…

Be a person who never stops growing up

Teacher Lily coughed with a strong nasal tone when she was in yoga class. Maybe it’s uncomfortable, she has less demonstration action today,…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 13, 2018)

January 13, 2018: Yesterday, my sister and nephew Little David didn’t come to the Dongwan village of jinjiaba where my mother and I stayed temporarily,…

An emotional diary of a Christian (January 12, 2018)

January 12, 2018: The day before yesterday, I said, “my mother will go to Kunshan tomorrow.” However, yesterday, my mother did not go to Kunshan…

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